Wired Differently
by fimlover66
Summary: probably should be K , but T just to be safe. A TodoDeku love story with a twist. Both characters have a mental illness, Midoriya has general anxiety and Todoroki has CPTSD. this story will explore the illness as well as their relationship. I have both illnesses and will be writing from experience. if you are not prepared to read about metal health please pick a different story.
1. Chapter 1: sports festival

AN

Updated: August 30th, there were some big changes, I fleshed out Todoroki a bit more. I also gave it a much-needed round of editing.  
A lot of this chapter was taken directly from the manga. All of the dialogue was taken word for word from the fan-translated manga I was reading. This is not the case for just about all later chapters, while I will be staying true to the cannon, I will explore the time that was not recorded, along with adding their thoughts to what was provided.

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**Todoroki's POV**

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I generally didn't interact much with my classmates. It's easier that way. Growing up I was never allowed to socialize with my peers, so I never really developed those skills. I've never put much thought into it. I'm fine by myself.  
Midoriya caught my eye. He seems to have this strange relationship with All Might. He made me use my left side in battle, which I promised myself that I wouldn't do. It makes me tense up it sends a chill down my spine and made me feel small and helpless and scared, despite how much power it gives me, often those effects linger after the battle. I also couldn't give Enji the satisfaction of using his power. That might seem petty, but that was already established and until then there was no focal point for me to start using it. Until now.

I wanted to talk to him. So during lunch, I went to talk to him alone. The problem was I didn't know what to say. I was never good with words, or other people. So I said the first thing that I deemed appropriate for me to say when I had him alone.

"Are you All Might's illegitimate love child? Or something?"

"N-no that's not it!" He blurted out, clearly nervous, that was not my intent how do I fix that?

"No that's not it!" interesting way to phrase it... there's definitely something you're hiding. I'm sure of it. I'm not going to push you for more details," is what I came up with to try to calm him down. I just find him lucky to have a positive personal relationship with the pro hero. I was curious about what their relationship really was. I also don't like it when people pry. things never go well when Enji tries to get information out of me. I felt that I needed to say something else. "You know my father is Endeavor. The second greatest hero of all time so if you're somehow connected to the number one guy, then... all the more reason for me to crush you," calling Enji my father left a sour taste in my mouth, and I did not want want to beat him for Enji's sake. I just felt like that is what he'd expect me to say.

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**Midoriya's POV**

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During the lunch break of the festival, Todoroki pulled me aside and out of the cafeteria. After the declaration of war, he gave me before I had no idea what to expect.  
"Are you All Might's illegitimate love child? Or something?" he asked bluntly.  
I started to panic what if he was able to figure out just how big a connection I had with All Might. "N-no that's not it!" I blurted out.  
"No that's not it!" interesting way to phrase it... there's definitely something you're hiding. I'm sure of it. I'm not going to push you for more details." I was really panicking, so much that I didn't process his last sentence right away, so my mind was in full panic how much does he know? Will he figure it out? How far will he look into it? Then I processed it what he just said and a wave of relief fell over me. Then he spoke again "You know my father is Endeavor. The second greatest hero of all time so if you're somehow connected to the number one guy, then... all the more reason for me to crush you."

I was relieved that he didn't push for information, but still anxious about it, anxiety isn't something you can just turn off. How much does he know!? I know that he's not pushing for information but I was still nervous about our battle!

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Sitting in the waiting room I started thinking, well not started but still I need to come up with a real plan, I'm fighting Todoroki, what do I know about Todoroki?... he's always off by himself, so I never really talked to him, though he is really cute, my anxiety just never let me go over and talk to him... you're getting off track Izuku! Focus, he's really powerful, but of course, he is! He's the son of Endeavor the number two hero, but Todoroki never uses fire, only his ice, he always starts with a wall of ice I need to be prepared for that. my mind wandered off as I came up with a plan.

Then the fight started. When we were fighting I talked about how I wanted to be a hero and that was why I was giving it my all. Then I told him that his power was his own. That's when I saw something click, and it showed in his mismatched eyes and I couldn't help but smile as he unleashed his fire, melting the ice expanding the air and knocking me out of bounds, and then I was rushed to Recovery Girl for medical attention.

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**Todoroki's POV**

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The battle started and I fought with my ice and only my ice as I always did. And then he started talking... talking about how he wants to be number one and he'll give it everything he's got until he's there. As he was talking, I started remembering, remembering my mom. How much she cared about me and that reminded me that I wanted to be a hero for me, not Enji. I forgot about him, for my flames were now mine not my his. I had forgotten that a long time ago. I could use them now. I can use MY flames. And I unleashed them. for the first time, I used them without all of those complex negative emotions.

For some reason, he was smiling. He was injured and about to lose, yet he was smiling. I could not get that smile out of my head.

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I ran into Enji after the battle. He was pleased that I used my fire. I told him that I was only able to use it because I wasn't thinking about him and that I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

I thought about that through my next fights. Figuring out how, if I could even make my flames my own and not Enji's. Whenever I thought of his flames, I felt small and terrified.

In my battle with Bakugo, I didn't use my fire. I was afraid. The thought of using my flames scared me to my core. Then from the bleachers, Midoriya called out. He yelled: "Don't lose, come on!" and then I felt different, safe in away. I felt like I could use my flames. There is something about him that I don't understand, but I would like to. I decided that I wanted to befriend him. Though I did not know how to go about doing so. I had never had a friend before.

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**AN**

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I hope you enjoyed!  
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Please tell me what you thought of this chapter/story!  
Constructive criticism is welcome.

(You no idea how much joy I get from someone following/favoriting/commenting on my work.)


	2. Chapter 2: Visiting Mom

Todoroki's POV

During my fight with Midoriya, I remembered all the positive things I did with my mother, before she was sent away.

I decided to visit her. I was nervous as I approached the building, and signed in with the secretary. That nervous feeling lasted until I opened the door and saw her there. I haven't seen her in eleven years, yet I felt relatively safe and at ease around her. A sensation I don't normally feel. I remembered more. I remembered how she would always try to keep me would try to keep my father from being too aggressive with me.

I spent the rest of the afternoon talking to her. It was quite pleasant. I decided that I wanted her to be in my life. I planned on visiting her regularly.

AN

I know that this was a very short chapter, but I felt I needed to put it in.


	3. Chapter 3: back to school

Midoriya's POV 

Going outside was crazy, I know that this is what it must be like for a lot of pro heroes, but being approached by all these strangers asking about the sports festival was still spiked my anxiety. I know this is part of being a pro hero but so many people! But being recognized is also so exciting because it's like how a pro hero is treated and I really want to become a pro hero!

The festival ended two days ago and we were back at school, I got there on the later end of being early, so most of the class was already there. After what happened at the sports festival I started to pay more attention to Todoroki, who was sitting in the back corner, one seat away from the window. The seat next to the window was taken by Momo.

When we were told we were to come up with a hero name my anxiety peaked again, I never thought that I would actually get to become a hero so I never put thought into coming up with a name, all the names I came up with before I realized that I was quirkless were all based on All Might, but I can't use any of those, that would draw too much attention to how close I was to him and possibly having people link us together and maybe finding out about the All for One, but I don't have any non All Might name ideas! My anxiety took over and I started dissociating as everyone thought about what their name would be, I came to by the time people started presenting their names including Kachan's name ideas that would better suit a villain than a hero. Then Todoroki came up and his name was simply Shoto, his individual name. Then I started thinking about that, is it because he has such a distinct look that he'd be recognized by any name? Why did he pick Shoto, instead of Todoroki? So many questions, I can't just go up to him and ask him, can I? No I don't know him well enough I wish I did though. why did he just want to go with Shoto, why not Todoroki!? So many questions!?

Then I realized that I still needed to come up with my own name, then it came to me: Deku! The name that Kachan called me as an insult, but Ochaco-kun gave it a new light. My Deku doesn't mean useless, it means that I can do it! Of course, I was a nervous wreck when I went up to the class to present my name I was actually shaking!

Todoroki's POV 

Getting to school was more of a hassle than usual. I always hated traveling and crowds. Too many things going on around me. But such is life, I've learned to deal with it, but that doesn't mean that I liked it. Now that I'm ranked second place at the sports festival people started bothering me more. I politely acknowledged them as I went along my way. I got to class and headed to the back corner by the window. Yaoyorozu was sitting in that corner as per usual. I sat in the seat next to her. I didn't know why but I always liked being in back corners where I could see everyone. It gave me some level of comfort. I never questioned why.

Soon the rest of my classmates started filling in. Midoriya was one of the last.

Today we were coming up with hero names. I never really put much thought into it. I knew since my quirk developed that I would become a professional hero. Endeavor made that very clear. I knew I wanted to be very different from him. Eventually, I decided to just use my individual name: Shoto. Short, simple and to the point. People would always be able to recognize me, so why not just use my name. I couldn't use Todoroki because that name belongs to Endeavor as well, I needed a name that was my own...

Midoriya's name choice was interesting... to say the least. Deku. meaning useless. I've noticed some of our classmates call him that. Bakugo in a belittling manner. Then others like Uraraka called him that an endearing fashion. I remember overhearing her saying that it sounded like: you can do it. The green-haired boy then said that that is what Deku means to him.'You can do it' is how he interprets his once insulting nickname. Taking ownership of it seemed to irritate his childhood friend. That didn't bother me. I was never a fan of him and his insulting nicknames.

Then we were told we were going to do an internship. We got to pick who from a list of people that chose us base on our performance at the sports festival. Coming in second, I had a lot of offers. Looking at the list I saw Endevear on the list of possible internship mentors.I froze with fear at the thought of fighting side by side with him. But I needed to learn how to control my flames. Ihadtherestof the week to figure it out, so I tried to forget about it, but like anything involving him, it never fully went away.

For the rest of the class, everyone was talking about the internships. They were all trying to figure out who'd they pick. I wasn't consciously listing to any of their conversations. I'm just always aware of everything going on around me at all times. It's not a conscious thing, I just am, and always have been doing that.

Midoriya's POV

Even the concept of the internship was so exciting being out in the field working alongside real pro heroes! But who do I choose? How can I pick I have so much information on all of them, I need to look through my notebooks, but what about learning how to control All for One? I needed to talk to All Might about this, there are so many great heroes! All Might sent had me to go intern with his old teacher Grand Toro, I didn't have information on him, a hero who I don't have a notebook for! This could be so great I get to learn about a new, well old hero while interning while learning how to control my All for One! This is so exciting!


	4. Chapter 4: Shoto's choice

Todoroki POV

I entered my house to find that I was alone. Which was fine. I was glad that Endeavor wasn't home. He came home while I was eating dinner. I felt his overbearing uncomfortable presence as soon as he entered the house.

"Shoto, did they talk about the internships today?" he asked, making me feel like a child under interrogation.

"Yes," I responded while avoiding I contact by focusing on my food.

"And of course you picked me." My throat went dry as panic took over. I could feel his piercing gaze. He made me feel small with no will of my own. He correctly took my silence as a no. that made him angry.

"**SHOTO**! LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!" he yelled, banging his hand on the table. I looked up and saw his beard and mustache were in flames. I winced at the sight of him angry.

"YOU WILL PICK ME FOR YOUR INTERNSHIP. **GOT THAT?!**" all I could do was give a scared nod. It would be hell to chose him and it would be hell if I didn't. If I did the hell would just be a week, and I would learn to control my fire. I made up my mind that I had to choose Endeavor. It was the only logical thing to do. Of course, that doesn't mean that I had to like it. My hand was shaking when I handed in the slip the next day.


	5. Chapter 5: The Internship

Todoroki's POV

The internship started, and it was hell. I constantly felt like a scared little kid as Endeavor taught me how to control my flames. He didn't beat me up like he did when I was little, this was probably do to him having an audience, and needing to be a likable person. Despite that emotionally, it was the same. Towards the end of the second day, I had gotten used to those feelings, again. I'm sure the fact that those feelings only worsen when I get home helped me get habituated to them. Of course on the third day, Midoriya put something in the class group text. Just a location. Midoriyia doesn't do things by accident, nor is he vague. Something must be wrong. I was very close to the location, so I ran off to go help him. I had the police send pro heroes after me. Just to be safe.

Midoriya's POV

It was the third day of the internship and I learned a lot with Grand Torino I can now have my All For One circulating through my body allowing me more control and power than ever! Today he was taking me to Hosu, the city where Iida was interning, Todoroki was in that neighborhood too know that was calming and exciting!

On the train ride there I texted Iida telling him that I'll be there, but he didn't text back, something he never does. This gave me anxiety, and then the train got attacked, which switched my anxiety to adrenalin a small but distinguishable difference. Grand Torino told me not to get involved so I went to find Iida. I quickly found him and he was fighting, without his mentor! We weren't supposed to be doing any real fighting even with our mentor! And he was losing I needed to help him. I quickly realized how dangerous this was, I needed back up, but who could I call for help, then I remembered that we have a class group chat! I didn't have time to send a proper message, I was only able to send him a GPS location. I hope that was enough. Please let that be enough! And someone came the person I hoped would come came, Todoroki!

I was frozen by Stain's quirk when he arrived with a large shooop of fire than he spoke, he told me how I needed to give more information and my heart almost jumped out of my chest, he has such a sweet voice, and he just looked so perfect. He was using his fire! He's finally using his fire he learned to embrace all of his quirk and it was so beautiful, he was so beautiful, Am I in love?

My feelings for him became more muddled when we shared a room with Iida in the hospital after the battle. It was nice being with both of them but there, but I was too anxious to really talk to Todoroki much, so I mostly talked to Iida, of course I still talked to Todoroki too, I didn't want him to feel left out! But these feelings I have for him, I couldn't wait to talk this over with my therapist, I'm so confused! I've never been in love before.


	6. Chapter 6: therapy

Midoriya POV

It was the Thursday after the internship ended and it was time for my weekly therapy visit with Tanaka-san. I've been seeing him just about every week since I was really little, it's a little weird that I need to see a therapist weekly no one knows about this but my mom, who arranges and pays for it... it's kinda embarrassing I mean I got into UA. I'm going to be a pro hero why would I need to talk to someone. But I do, I find my conversations with my therapist, Tanaka-san, are just as important now as they were when I was quirkless, he does, however, know about all for one and All Might, I told him that before All Might told me not to tell anyone... but I tell him anyway!

Even though all those good things have happened I still have general anxiety disorder, again something only my mom and Tanka-san know about, I can't let people know that the stigma around mental illness decreased, it's still there, I don't want people to think less of me because of it.

After a short period of time in the waiting room, Tanaka-san says goodbye to the client who went before me and invites me into his office. I sat down on the couch facing him, nervously my thumbs.

.

"What's wrong Midoryia, you can talk about anything here. Surely you know that by now. You've been seeing me for quite some time."

"Tanaka-san, how do you know if you're in love? I think I might be but it's with a boy, all my life people have been talking about boys being with girls but I'm a boy and he's a boy is that weird, am I gay? That is if this is even love?... I don't know. I don't know anything...even if it is love chances are he doesn't feel the same way about me, I'm just a big crybaby that-"

"Midoriya, you are a very capable and lovable young man that deserves love in your life. Just like everyone else does. When you think like that you're letting your anxiety win, Now tell me about him."

"It's Todoroki, he's just so sweet, even though he had such a bad past when we were fighting Stain, he came running to me when I just sent a GPS signal in the class chat! He could have gotten into so much trouble for that, well he may have actually gotten in trouble for it and just didn't tell me so I wouldn't feel bad, because that's how nice he is, and he's so pretty those mismatch eyes, I could stare at them forever, he doesn't smile much but when he does my heart just melts..."

"Midoriya, you're smiling," he pointed out I didn't notice but he was right! I was smiling, just talking about him made me happy and all warm and fuzzy... I felt my blood rushing to my face.

"It seems like you might have a crush on your friend. And there's nothing wrong with being gay, I think it would actually be great if there was a gay pro hero, they would be an icon and a role modal for gay kids everywhere. You don't usually mention him when you talk about your friends at school, why don't you spend the next week spending more time with him, see how you feel around him. See how he treats you and your friends," my heart was racing just thinking about that spending more time with him, but good therapy sometimes takes work, and if Tanaka-san said to do it I should he's usually right about that.

We then talked more about the rest of my week and how I learned to control my One for All.


	7. Chapter 7: school

Midoriya's POV

The next day I followed did as my therapist asked, I asked Todoroki to sit with me, Iida, Ochaco, my heart raced as I made eye contact. He agreed with no hesitation and even a small smile that made my heart melt a little. After we got out food he fallowed me to my usual table, that I sit with Iidap-kun and Ochako-kun. He took the seat against the divider between the tables. He tends to do that, sit in corners with his back against a wall. He didn't talk much that day, despite our best effort to bring him into our conversation. His answers were always direct, not in a mean way, his voice is so genital. He looked at me a lot, maybe, I don't know! All I know is that every time he looks at me I get this weird feeling in my stomach, is he looking at me this much I don't usually notice how often people look at each other during conversations. Is he examining me? Am I overthinking this? probably.

Todoroki's POV

The bell rang, time for lunch. I waited as the room emptied out before heading out myself, I don't like it when people walk behind me. Today Midoriya remained, he appeared to be waiting for me. He approached me to ask if I would like to sit with him at lunch. I agreed, wanting to spend time with him since the sports festival. I was also just glad to be included. I just didn't understand why he would want to spend time with me.

I sat with him, Iida, and Uraraka. They were all being very nice. They made sure to include me in the conversation; I was not used to that. My answers were short and precise. I did not know how to keep a conversation going. lucky for me, I didn't need to. My attention kept drifting to the green-haired boy. Out of all of them, he tried his hardest to include me in the conversation.

This pattern continued for the next couple of weeks. I believe I was getting better at conversations. My responses were still straightforward and brief. I didn't think that that would ever change. I was happy. I never had friends before, it was nice. Though I still felt like an outsider, like they would just get bored of me. Though there was something special about Midoriya. Waited for me at the end of each class so we could walk together. It was nice that someone cared that much about me. I didn't know what I did to deserve this.

AN

Yes, I know that I'm stretching out the timeline a little, I will get to midterms and summer training soon.


	8. Chapter 8 to the arcade

**Midoriya's POV**

My feelings forTodoroki-kun grew and grew as I spent more time with him, Lunches were great he really seemed to be opening up to us.

After class one day as our classmates were leaving I asked if he wanted to hang out after school. I don't know what possessed me to do that I didn't think the words just came out of my mouth without me thinking. I'm just asking a friend to hang out after school this is normal nothing out of the ordinary... but this is Todoroki-kun! It's Just a friend asking another friend to hang out. Nothing weird about that, right?

I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost didn't hear his response. "I think that I would like that a lot." My head started spinning, I'm hanging out one on withTodoroki-kun! Alone! Just the two of us!

**Todoroki POV **

Class ended and my classmates were filing out of the room talking. Midoriya came up to me and asked me if I wanted to hang out after class. I looked at him and his awkward smile and shining emerald eyes. I felt comfortable just being in his presence. Something I don't feel with many people. He made me smile when few things do. "I would like that a lot," I responded. him asking made me feel special. It made me feel included. It would also mean that I get to spending time with him.

**Midoriya's POV**

he said yes he said yes! Now what! I have nothing planned and I'm going to be spending time witch Todoroki-kun! And I have nothing planned why did I do that! Why was I so impulsive Tanaka-san said that my thoughts are always holding me back and I need to do things without thinking but now that I did that I don't know what to do. Now I have to think of something quick.

"We could go to the arcade! There's a good one near my house!" I responded. He nodded in response.

"I've never been to an arcade before" I was shocked! "You've really never been to one!" I exclaimed then I started mumbling "_how could he have never been to an arcade, I know he had a tough childhood but it's an arcade... shit this means that I need to make this date extra special! Wait this isn't al date it's just two friends going to an arcade but this is with Todoroki-kun!_" I realized that I said all that out loud and pulled myself out of my own head and nervously looked at the heterochromatic boy hoping he wasn't paying attention. He had a bearly noticeable smile on his face.

**Todoroki POV**

I let Midoriya continue to mumble. Though I couldn't make out most of the words; I found it adorable. I found that just about everything he does adorable, too bad that he'd never feel the same way about me. He started to move, while still mumbling. I didn't think that he realized that he was moving, or even mumbling for that matter, I fallowed him he seamed to be autopiloting to the train station

**Midoriya POV(still mumbling and not aware that he's moving)**

"_I can't believe this is happing I'm going to be withTodoroki-kun one on one at the arcade at least I came up with the accede I don't know what I would do if I said something like the park where there would be nothing to do but just talk not that I don't want to talk to him because I do but what would I say. I know we had conversations at lunch but I wasn't alone with him then! But there would still be the time getting there the train ride is ten minutes, and the walk to and from the station is another fifteen so that's at least twenty-five minutes of unstructured time!_" I noticed that while I was caught up worrying we were walking and we were almost at the train station. Then I noticed that Todoroki-kun wasn't next to me! I started to get nervous did my mumbling scare him off!

"Midoriya, are you done mumbling?" I heard Todoroki-kun ask from behind me. Oh, yea he always walks a bit behind me, or well anyone for some reason. I turned red as I realized that I said that out loud, despite not wanting him to see me blushing, I turned around so he couldn't see my face. Before I turned around I saw that his lips were shaped into a smile, a small smile, but the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. Tears swelled in my eyes and some begin to fall down my cheeks. I quickly turned back around and saying "y-yea I'm done," with the most steady voice I could muster as I wiped my tears off on my sleave. I then continued walking, hoping that he'd follow.

**Todoroki POV**

As we approached the train station Midoriya stopped mumbling. I asked if he was done. He proceeded to blush, turn around and then start crying; before promptly turning around and tell me that he was done. I was a little disappointed that he was, I enjoy the sound of his voice; whether I could make out the words or not. He then continued walking. He was just so adorable!

I followed him in silence as we boarded the train. Silence doesn't bother me. I'm quite used to it. I find it comforting. Midoriya, on the other hand, seemed to not be as fond of it. He seemed to be growing nerves. I wanted to help him, but I didn't know how to start a conversation.

Eventually, we reached the arcade.


	9. Chapter 9: At the Arcade

Todoroki POV

I fallowed Midoroya into the arcade and was hit with a wall of sound. There were also a lot of people crammed inside. I hate places like this. Yet I followed the smaller boy farther inside bracing myself for the noise. I didn't want to disappoint him. If I did he may not want to spend time with me and be my friend anymore and just push me to the side in favor of Iida and Uchaka, I didn't even understand why he put up with me so much.

Midoriya POV

I was kinda a bit relieved as we approached the arcade it's not that I don't like the brief exchanges I got from Todorki I know that he's just not big on talking or has the best social skills but it was still a relief that now there would be some form of activity for us to do.

"What do we do now?" the beautiful boy asked.

I looked back at him managed to stutter out: "C-ards!" the duel hair colored boy looked a little confused.

"Cards?" he asked.

"We need to buy cards that have credits on them so we can play games!" I responded.

"What types of games are there?" it's amazing how little of a childhood he actually had, I feel really bad for him...

"There are all kinds of games" I said as I walked farther inside.

"How much are those toys?" Todoroki question pointing to the prise sections.

"You don't buy them with money you need to win those by getting tickets, which you get from playing games"

Todoroki POV

I wanted to get him something to prove my worth as a friend. I knew that he views me as one, but deep down I felt I needed to prove it to him. I needed to prove that I'm worthy to be friends with that wonderful boy.

Midoriya walked took me on a tour of the arcade saying what each game was.

I found that I enjoyed the racing game. Midoriya liked the fighting games. The first round he had me play as Endeavor. I was not happy about that, but I played anyway not wanting to disappoint him. After that, I played as All MIght. I had more fun playing as him. I knew that he let me win most of the rounds. He's just that sweet. After that, we played DDR. We were both really good at that game. We ended up gathering a small crowd of people watching up. Eventually, we ended up at air hockey. I had a lot of fun. I felt like I was actually enjoying my life, as well as my time with Midoriya.

Though I didn't see any tickets and when I asked him, he told me that the games that we were playing didn't give tickets, but it didn't really matter because all the good things cost a few thousand tickets. He also said that he always wanted to get something big from there. wanted. I decided that I needed to win him enough tickets to get whatever he wanted. I needed to prove that I'm worthy of being his friend.

Midoriya POV

Spending time at the arcade was so much fun I never really played the racing games they made Todoroki happy so I raced with him. The first round I said that he should pick Endeavor, I picked All Might. The next round he asked to be All Might, so I let him and played around as the other characters I've never used most of them, but it was fun! I was still way better than him because he never played this or any video game before, I let him win some rounds because I wanted him to be happy! He isn't really competitive so it was just a lot of fun the last person I played two players with was Kachan and he's really competitive. The game was much more fun with Todoroki!

Then we played DDR which we were both great at it was so much fun! We just kept going and going! People even started gathering around watching it was so cool! I haven't played that game in since I got strong I used to get winded after a few minutes, but that didn't happen at all this time I was able to just keep going and going!

After that, we went to the air hockey tables, for a surprisingly relaxing game. Then it happened...


	10. Chapter 10: Todoroki's screens

Midoriya POV

"Midoriya, I'm surprised that you're not blushing, but then again, by now you're probably used to people calling you cute." I looked up in complete confusion as he said that allowing him to score his winning point.

Who was calling me cute and WAIT he said that I would be used to people calling me cute! does that mean that he thinks that I'm cute I hope it does what else could it mean? "Wait? What? Who? how? " I staggered in confusion.

"Those girls playing that game behind me," he gestured with his head towards a group of girls that looked about our age. "They're talking about how cute you are," once again he's saying crazy things those girls had to be at least three meters away from him and the music was loud how could he possibly know what they were saying while playing with me! I was very confused.

Todoroki POV

Midoriya looked confused when I pointed out the girls talking behind me. Could he just not hear them? If he just couldn't hear them why would he be surprised that I could? "I guess that I'm a closer so you just can't hear them," I respond.

"But how can you hear them! The music's loud and you were playing with me!" I didn't understand his confusion. Isn't everyone always aware of everything around them?

"Midoriya, I don't understand why you're confused. They're within earshot so I listened to their conversation," this comment seemed to further his confusion, he also apaired to be shocked. I didn't know how to respond.

"Why don't we go outside so we can talk about this?" he asked.

"We passed an ice cream parlor a few blocks back," I offered.

"Y...Yea, let's go there..." he muttered, still very confused.

Todoroki pov

The trip from the arcade to the ice cream shop was in silence. It wasn't until we sat down with our frozen treats did we start talking. "So you always listen to what everyone's saying all the time?" the smaller boy asked trying to understand.

"Doesn't everyone?" I asked in response, "I don't pay much attention to most of them." I was confused at how this was confusing.

"N-No that's actually kind of creepy..."

"It's not like I can control it. I'm aware of everything that happens around me at all times," there was a clear look of shock on Midoriya's face. I was starting to get the feeling that this wasn't normal.

I paused trying to think of a way to explain it. "This is how I see the world," I started, "I'm in a room facing a wall of TVs. There's usually around twenty of them. the more comfortable I am the fewer screens there are. They all are playing different shows and I need to know at less the basic plot of all of them. With those, I can hear and see everything around me."

"That's a lot of things to pay attention too." I shrugged for I didn't even finish.

"Along with those there are a few screens that are constantly changing channels. Those are the ones I need to pay the most attention to because something important might come on. We probably should eat our ice cream before it melts." I resumed eating mine but Midroyia just stared at me in shock.

AN

OK, what Todoroki described is something called hypervigilance, it is a common system of PTSD/CPTSD. It is part of the fight or flight part of the brain, it makes it so you have to keep scanning your surroundings for 'dangers'. It's really exhausting, mentally AND physically. If you experience this and are in a dangerous situation regularly and need hypovirulence, try establishing safe spaces where you can let your guard down. If you are out of danger work on lowering it, for you don't need it anymore. There is no one way to do that. I recommend getting professional help to deal with it.


	11. chap 11: want to go to the arcade(again)

Todoroki POV

The next day at school I couldn't stop thinking about MIdoriya, and how nice he is to me. He didn't bring up my... ability... preventing any awkwardness. I felt that I needed to make it up to him somehow. I was not worthy of all that kindness. I needed to prove that I'm worthy of being friends with that wonderful boy. For the next week and a half, after school, I went back to the arcade to try to win that enough tickets. Enough tickets that he could get any prize he wanted. That whole time at school he continued to make sure that I felt included. Even though Awozata-sensei gave us a lot of work I kept going back to the arcade. Midoriya kept trying to include me was enough motivation for me to continue going back to the arcade. I played every game at the arcade and found that I earned the most tickets at the reaction speed game.

Eventually, I earned over a thousand tickets, which was enough to get most of the prizes. It took me another two days after earning enough tickets before I was able to ask him to go back to the arcade. It wasn't that I didn't have the opportunity. I was afraid of asking because I was afraid that he'd say no. That he would stop liking me. I know that there was no logic behind those thoughts, but I couldn't help but finding those preventing me to ask him.

It was time for lunch as usual Mideoriya, waited for everyone else to leave so he could walk with me. I did not deserve having him in my life. "Midoriya?" I asked with a shaky voice, I felt like a child when I asked if he wanted to go to the arcade again, I didn't l look at him I was afraid with my irrational child-like feelings.

Midoriya POV

Todoroki called my name in the cutest voice I ever heard, he looked so cute, when he's nervus. "would you like to go to the arcade with me again?" his voice was practically a whisper while he was looking at the floor, I just wanted to hold him and tell him that there was nothing to be nervous about even though I was really nervous when I asked him the same thing! But I couldn't hold him because of social normas saying that boys can't really even hug each other! Let alone me holding him even though I really wanted to! Instead, I had to respond with just my words.

"I'd love to!" I responded enthusiastically. In response I got his small heart-melting smile. I love him so much! And I really wanted to hang out with him again but he seemed to be distracted, and I didn't want to bother him, I know that was my anxiety taking control again, or at least that's what Tanaka-san said, but I'm so glad that he wanted to hang out again. I couldn't wait for the day to be over so I can have alone time with Todoroki-kun!

AN

Yes I know that the midterms happen around this time, I'll get to them in chapter 13, 14 at the latest.


	12. Chapter 12: To the Prize Section

Todoroki POV

* * *

I was so excited that I was bearly able to focus on the afternoon classes. Eventually, classes ended. As usual, I waited until my classmates left the room. Everyone except Midoriya that is. He waited for me.

"You said that he wanted to go to the arcade?" he asked, with a large smile on his face. I just nodded.

Midoriya POV

* * *

Like last time Todoroki walked behind me, I keep looking back over my shoulder to make sure that he was still there, which he always was, slightly behind me he had that slight smile on his face, I didn't know what he was smiling about but I was just glad it was there. He doesn't smile that often. Even though I still find him walking behind me a bit unnerving, I guess that it was just one of his mannerisms that I'd have to get used to, maybe it will change over time or maybe it won't, but this is Todoroki so I'm just happy to be with him.

"I can't wait to go to the arcade again," I started trying to start a conversation, I didn't get a response from that, I know that he's not the best at that. "Why did you choose the arcade?" I asked this time prompting a response, I found that sometimes Todoroki needs a bit of a prompt to start talking!

"I have a surprise for you," he responded, I waited for him to say more, but he didn't.

When we reached the arcade started going to the card counter when the heterochromatic boy put a hand on my shoulder. "We're going to the prize section. I have enough tickets for you to get just about anything," he informed me.

"Wha- how- why!" I stammered.

"Since you told me that you wanted to get something from the prize section, I have been coming here after school. I wanted to win you enough tickets so you can get just about anything. So I did. I did it to thank you for being my friend."

I couldn't believe that Todoroki would go through all this trouble for me just because I'm his friend! It was flattering but kinda awkward and a little bit uncomfortable to be honest...

"Yo-yu didn't have to do all this because I'm your friend, Todoroki, I want to be your friend, and I think that everyone should be nice to everyone! Haven't people just been nice to you?"

He looked down "No, since my mom left the only people who were nice to me were my siblings and only when my father wasn't around." he once again reminded me of his terrible childhood he looked so sad I just wanted to hug him and tell him that everything is ok now but it's not he still has to deal with his father reminding him of his abusive past. Tears swelled in my eyes.

He prompted me back to the here and now by asking me what Item I wanted.

"No save your tickets, get something for yourself! You were the one who got the tickets!" I nervously flailed my hands in front of me.

"I won them for you." he stood there watching me, with that small smile which was actually kind of comforting, his smile always makes me smile, so I agreed and looked at the prizes that I never dreamed I'd be able to get, I was never able to get more than a piece of candy or other small cheap trinkets but now I was able to look at the big-ticket stuff the scared teen followed close behind me. I light up when I saw a possible silver age All Might figurine that I didn't already have, then I looked at the price, it was over two thousand tickets.

"You want that but you're worried about the price aren't you?" he asked.

I didn't know how he knew I didn't think that my expression changed that much, maybe it has to do with the screens that he sees. "Yea," I managed to respond. He took the figurine and went to the employee and gave him that and a card, he swiped the card and gave the prize back to him. I went over and he gave it to me and I started crying a little I just stared at him not knowing what to say but Todoroki actually did!

"I had enough tickets," he stated, like this was completely normal.

"Bu- Todoroki-Thank you, you really didn't have to do this."

"But, Midoriya, I wanted to," with that he reached out and wiped away my tears his hand was so warm! I started into his mismatch eyes, and I smiled, and he gave me that slight smile. Then my face turned bright red as I realized where we were and that we weren't dating in real life like we were in my head.

"I- uh- have... to go now! I-I'll see you in school tomorrow!" with that, I ran off feeling terrible about leaving him after him being so nice to me I'd definitely be beating myself up over this for a few weeks!


	13. Chapter 13: The Aftermath

Midoriya POV

* * *

By the time I got home my anxiety was going crazy, I didn't even rearrange my All Might figurines to find a good spot for the new ones I just put it on my desk and flopped down on my bed. I can't believe I just ran off after Todoroki gave me that gift for being his friend he probably hates me now I can't believe I did that. I don't know how long I lay there ruminating before I thought of texting him I probably should text him and apologies. Eventually, I took out my phone.

"I'm sorry about running off earlier. I didn't know how to react so I just ran. I'm not mad at you. What you did was really nice! Please forgive me!" after rereading it three times I sent the message. I was an anxiety-ridden mess waiting for him to text me back, I tried doing my homework, but I just couldn't focus, eventually, my phone buzzed. I rushed to check it. It was from Todoroki.

"I already have." that was all he sent those three words I didn't know what to make of them but this is Todoroki isn't much for words I guess that applies to texting too! I tried to not think about it but that was impossible. I managed to get my work done but that night I stared at the figurine he gave me as I replied that afternoon over and over in my head, until I eventually fell asleep for and for the first time I did not want to go to UA the next day I know he said that he forgave me but still I was nervous to see him again!

* * *

Todoroki POV

* * *

I watched Mirdoya as he ran off. Did I do something wrong?

Downtrodden I went home. I saw Fuyumi's shoes at the door and thankfully only her's. I ran into her as I headed upstairs to my room.

"Hey, Shoto! How are you?" she asked I paused, trying to think of a way to describe how I feel.

"I'm fine," was what I ended up saying before asking the question back at her.

She frowned and put an arm on my shoulder, "we both know that's a lie, what's really going on?" she kindly demanded.

I did not want to talk about it but lucky I felt my phone vibrated in my pocket. Normally I don't check my phone for texts when I'm talking to someone in real life. Despite that I took out my phone, I didn't want to answer my sister's question. It was Midoriya. "Everything just worked itself out," I responded.

"If you ever need to talk, about anything I'm here for you Shoto."

I gave a small smile as nodded in response before telling her I needed to do my schoolwork.


	14. Chapter 14: How am I Going to School Now

AN

* * *

So I've shone you a lot of Todoroki's trauma, now take a look at chapter based on Midoriya's anxiety.

I want to tell you that what Midoriya's going through is something that actually happens to people with General Anxiety Disorder. it happens to me at times. I've missed class more times than I would like to admit to not being able to get out of bed due to anxiety. I am not exaggerating it at all.

Tanaka is the name of Midoriya's therapist, seen in chapter 6.

* * *

Midoriya POV

* * *

My alarm rang, it was time for school. School at UA, the school of my dreams yet I just let the alarm ring. I just couldn't get up. I turned off the alarm and just laird there, staring at the ceiling. I looked back at my clock, it was getting late, but I couldn't move. Then I remembered why I didn't want to go, this time I could actually figure out the reason, there wasn't always one, there usually isn't one. But this time I'm afraid to go to school and see Todoroki, I know that this is ridiculous he said that he forgave me and I should believe him, but it's hard to reason with anxiety. I knew that if I skipped today it will be even harder to get to class tomorrow because I still wouldn't have talked to him and it will look like I'm avoiding him but even though I am but I don't want to I just wish I didn't run away like that. That memory put it's self on loop in my mind, making me more and more anxious and like I'm a terrible person...

"Izuku? Hunny? are you ok?" my mom asked nervously, knocking at my door. It isn't like me to sleep in.

I was so wound up about seeing him I couldn't let myself partake in any other part of school, and then if I miss today what if my friends come over asking if I'm ok then I'd have to pretend to be physically sick because I can't let them know that I skipped school because I'm anxious about seeing one of our classmates because I did something out of anxiety yesterday! I started at the ceiling letting tears blur my sight.

Taking my silence as an answer she came into my room and sat down on the edge of my bed. "Is this a physical sick or a mental sick?" She asked, after placing a kiss on my forehead. She knows how my anxiety and how it can sometimes do this to me.

"Mental" I stated miserably, I didn't elaborate because I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. I wished that this was physical that people understand, this I can't tell anyone! They'd just think I'm broken, even though I feel like I was as the screen looped through my head again.

She grabbed my hand, "what would All Might do?" Tanaka-san told her to ask me that when I get sick that usually works especially after finding out that he earned his quirk like I did and how even he had limitations that he constantly pushes through. That didn't work today, instead, it just frustrated me...

"All Might didn't have to worry about something like this!" I lashed out I hate it when I do that it doesn't happen often and I always feel so bad about it. By now my mom knows better than to try to talk sense to me when I'm anxious it often just makes everything worse instead, so instead, she pulled up All Might videos on her phone and let me just watch, I was captivated by him and soon was in a headspace that allowed me to get up and face the day... even Todoroki... hopefully...

* * *

AN

* * *

I know I said that I'd talk about the final in this chapter than I came up with this bit and felt I needed to write it and I felt like this piece is very important, with this fic being about mental illness as well as blossoming love, which is coming I promise. It will be super cute.

The next chapter will be long, I have a lot of plans for that one, and it WILL talk about the final, that I can assure you.


	15. Chapter 15: That Day at School

MIdoriya POV

* * *

I had to rush if I had any chance of getting to class on time, I felt my anxiety get worse with each passing second until I eventually reached the classroom five and a half minutes late, I could hear my heart beating a kilometer a minute. I almost didn't hear Aizawa-sensei.

"Midoriya. Your late," he seemed more annoyed than angry, I started rambling an apology, until he interrupted me. "Just take your seat, I have a class to teach."

"Yes, Aizawa-sensei!" I bowed before rushing to my spot.

I could bearly force on the morning lessons because I was too busy worrying about having to talk to Todoroki during lunch!

Morning classes ended unbelievably quickly especially since I didn't pay attention in class, I'll I could think of was what I was going to say to Todoroki...

But before I could even go over to him, Iida and Ochaco came right to my desk. "Midoriya, you were late is everything ok?!" he asked, kindly demanding an answer.

"I-I forgot to turn on my alarm, that's all!" I nervously answered with my goto excuse. I really hate lying to them but I couldn't tell them the truth that would be even worse!

"Well, that's a relief! I'm just glad that nothing wrong Deku!" she spoke in her usual bubbly voice.

"Midoriya! You need to be more careful about getting to school on time! You are at the prestigious UA, you need be sure to arrive on time every day, in fact, a UA student should be at least ten minutes early to be on time!" he lectured, making me feel even worse. "But now let's not waste time in what happened in the past! it is time for lunch!"

"I'll meet you there!" I told them as they left the room, and just as I thought there were only two other people left, Aoyama, who always ate lunch in the classroom, and Todoroki, who was walking towards me. "Uh.. hi Todoroki." my voice lost all confidence as I looked at his beautiful face.

"Hello Midoriya, it what's wrong?" " he asked sincerely, which should have made me a bit calmer but instead it made me more anxious! Anxiety is never rationale!

"I-I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday..." I muttered nervously.

"What about it?" he seemed to completely forget about me leaving.

"I ran away... I'm really sorry about that..."

"It's fine," the told me, "I'm just happy for the rest of the afternoon," and he smiled his small heartwarming smile he's so pure and sweet I just wanted to be his boyfriend, but I couldn't risk what we have!

"We should probably get lunch. chances are didn't have time to eat breakfast this morning."

"Uh yeah, "I responded and led him to Lunch Rush.

* * *

Todoroki's POV

* * *

I could tell from the moment he entered the classroom that something was bothering him. I just knew that it was something besides oversleeping. I decided to not bring it up, I don't like to pry or stick my nose where it doesn't belong.

when lunch came around I waited for Midoriya while he talked to Iida and Uraraka about being late for school. Soon he came over to me, and apologies about leaving me at the arcade. told him that I already forgave him, I knew that there was something he wasn't telling me, but I didn't pry. instead, I suggested that we got lunch, to which he agreed.

At lunch, we sat with the same people, and as always Midoriya did his best to include me. by the end of lunch, I could tell that was feeling back to normal, though he seemed to have difficulty maintaining eye contact with me.

Afternoon classes went normally until the very end of the day when Aizawa-sensei made an announcement. He reminded us that the finals started in a week. everyone started freaking out about that, worrying they weren't going to do well and started forming study groups. I didn't understand why people needed a lot of studying, all the material was easy to understand if you simply paid attention in class.

during the chaos, the green-haired boy went up to me and asked if I wanted to study with him. I didn't need help preparing for the exam, and I knew from the midterm standings he didn't need help either. despite all that I said yes. I wanted to spend more time with him, it made me happy in a way I never felt before. I guess that this must be what friendship feels like. although I do not get these feelings about Iida or Uraraka.

* * *

AN

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If you like what you're reading please follow/favorite!


	16. Chapter 16:Study Buddies

Todoroki's PoV

* * *

As we left school I was surprised that he did not ask Uchara or Iida to join us. Though I'm glad that he didn't, I like being alone with Midoriya, I find it oddly comforting. I followed him to his apartment.

It was so small, I was aware that most people did not live in large houses like I did, but I didn't know just how small.

"Mom, I'm home," the green-haired boy called as we were taking off our shoes, "I brought a friend home to study with."

She came over to see who I brought home. "Oh hello there! You must be Todoroki, Izuku has told me so much about you!" she greeted us with a warm smile. What had Midoriya told her? But Midoriya intervened before I could ask. "Mooom!" he pleaded, as his face turned red. Since he clearly did not her to elaborate I assumed that he didn't want to tell me either. If he did he'd tell me himself.

"Why don't you two work in Izuku's room?" She suggested.

I nodded in response as he led me to his room, which can only be described as an All Might shrine. I knew that he liked All Might but there the only serious not covered was the working part of his desk. He noticed me stare and started getting anxious, I found his room oddly comforting. I always looked up to the symbol of peace, but because of Enji, I was never able to have any of his much. I sat down on his bed, letting him take the chair.

"So, Todoroki, what kind of study methods do you usually use, I normally read make read all of my notes and make a notebook summarizing all my notes and read those, though I don't quite know how it would work with multiple people maybe we can..." he started mumbling again, he, unfortunately, it wasn't for more than a few seconds before he asked me how I study. I hesitated before admitting that I don't have any because I never needed to study,. I watched his face as confusion turned into amazement.

"I just don't see the pay off from studying, I understand the concepts in class. I don't see the point in stressing out about it, and you seem to put a lot of effort into it," I answered the question that he had yet to ask. "What do you have planned. You were mumbling long enough that I'm sure that you came up with something," this made him blush and get flustered. For some reason, this made me feel warm and fuzzy. I didn't think much of it, it's rare that I truly feel happy, I just wanted the feeling to last, whatever it was.

He started mumbling again."Ok then why don't we compare notes!" he suggested, as he took out his notebooks. His well-organized notebooks.

I felt a little embarrassed as I took out my books, I took notes, but I very rarely actually read them later, they were nowhere near as detailed or organized as his, everyone in our class knows about his detailed notebooks about every pro hero in existence.

Then his mom opened the slightly ajar door, "I hope I'm not interrupting! But I brought snacks for you two!" she was so cheerful and kind. I was envious of Midoriya, living with a parent that actually cares about him. I couldn't even imagine what that would be like.

We looked at our notes and condensed them, something that would be excoriating boring was actually not that bad. Though it was probably just I was doing it with a friend. Even so, it was still very boring.

"Why don't we take a break and prepare for the physical component?"

"That sounds nice," I replied happy to do something less boring.

"Todoroki? Because your dad is Endeavor, you probably have a lot of work out equipment, at your house!"

"Yea we do... I live in Musutafu. It's only two train stops away" I told him."Yea we do... I live in Musutafu. It's only two train stops away. We can go there if you want. No one should be home," I told him.

"Let me get change and we can go!" his smile faded as he grabbed his outfit. He paused as he was about to start changing and he started blushing. something was wrong but I didn't know what. I've seen him change dozens of times. I didn't see why this would be different. He looked so nervous.

"Are you ok, Midoriya?" I asked genuinely concerned.

"Ye-yea! I just have to use the bathroom, I'm going to go and I'll just change in there!" with that he ran off. Something was off but I couldn't figure out what.

As we left his apartment he called out to his mom, telling her where we were going. And she told us to have fun. It must be nice to live with a parent like that.

* * *

AN

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If you like what you're reading, please favorite and fallow if you haven't already! And tell me what you think about this chapter/story. Constructive criticism is welcome! I couldn't think of a good way to put Midoriya's PoV in there...

I'm sorry about the formatting at the end...


	17. Chapter 17: The Training Room

**AN**

* * *

Be sure to read the authors note at the end. In this chapter, you really see the effects of Todroki's trauma.

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Midoriya POV

* * *

Todorki was quite as we went to his house, it was a little weird how directed me to his house while still walking a little behind him but that's Todorki.

He has us stop at the biggest house I had ever seen! There was even a giant gate that he had to push in a code just to enter the yard. Because of his dad, I knew that he had money but still this place was huge!

"The gym is downstairs. The stairs are at the end of the hall," he told me as we were taking off our shoes, "I'm going to change, I'll be there in a minute. You can use any of the equipment"

"Uh- yeah, sure!" with that, he left me alone to go change, I nervously walked towards the gym, it was kinda weird walking around his house alone, I didn't know what to expect but everything looked like traditional Japanese household.

I went downstairs and it was a fully equipt gym like a professional one only there was only one of each machine, which makes sense it wasn't a public one, but there was a lot of stuff some I didn't even recognize! There was even a mini-fridge, probably filled with water bottles. There was also a door on the back wall, I wonder what was inside their I'd have to ask him when he comes down.

I decided to start on the treadmill, I didn't notice Todorki entering but I did notice when he got on to the elliptical next to me. "What some water?" he asked after a bit running.

"Yea that would be great!" I stopped the machine and watched him grab two bodles from the mini-fridge, he tossed me one, and sat down on the bench press bench, I sat down next to him and finally got the nerve to ask.

"Hey, Todoroki, what's that room?" I pointed to the door.

"That's the sparing room," did he sounded a little nervous when he said that? It can be hard to tell with him. "Can you spot me?" he asked changing the subject.

"Of course!" we then switched off doing bench presses and spotting the other. It's kind of embarrassing how much more he can lift than me, but he didn't mention it.

"Todorki?" he looked at me with those beautiful mismatch eyes, "the final will probably be some form of fighting I know that you're a long-distance fighter but maybe we could spar a bit? It's always important to have a good hand to hand combat skills." some strong emotion flashed in his eyes for just a second I couldn't make out exactly what it was, but he agreed.

* * *

Todorki POV

* * *

A wave of terror flashed over me when he asked about the training room. I changed the subject by having us do bench presses. Then he asked to spar in there. I did not want to go into that room. I haven't been in there since Enji was training me. But for some reason, I could not say no to that green-haired boy. So against my better judgment, I agreed.

He opened the door and I froze. I felt very small, scared. My breaths became quicker.

"Is something wrong Todoroki?" He asked.

"Ye-yea, I'm fine" I responded, consciously evening out my breaths. This is the way I would always feel around Enji, why am I feeling this way around Midoriya?

He went to punch me and I froze. My brain shut down as his first made contact with my face. I felt terrified and small so very small.

* * *

Midoriya POV

* * *

Todoroki started acting a little off since we entered the room, he said that he was fine so I didn't think about it this was for sparing!

I moved first punching the beautiful boy, he didn't even try and dodge it! He seemed to have just froze!

"Todoroki! Are you ok!" instead of answering me started to shake like he forgot how to stand! I panicked as I rushed to help support him he was hyperventilating! "T-Todoroki?" I asked having no idea what was going on, he just looked at me his eyes were open wide and were full of fear, and tears! WHAT WAS GOING ON WHY IS HE TREMBLING! then he stumbled closer to me and rested his head against my shoulder, SERIOUSLY WHAT WAS GOING ON! I was internally screaming then I started thinking and probably mumbling "He started acting weird when we got into this room and was a little off talking about it maybe that has something to do with it! Yea lets try getting him out of the room maybe that would help."

"C-come on Todorki, let's get you out of here," he nodded as I half lead, half carried the scared boy back to the gym I brought him over to bench press bench and sat us down there, my arm was still wrapped around him and he was still leaning on me. Tears dripping down his cheeks! WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM!?

* * *

Todorki's POV

* * *

Midoriya asked me if I was ok, but I couldn't get myself to speak. I looked at him I could see the panic on his face. I wanted to lie and tell him that I was fine, but the words just wouldn't form. He wrapped his arm around me to keep me from falling over. His arm felt nice around me, I leaned into him. He started mumbling. That was I always found his mumbling comforting. He told me that he was taking me out of the room. I still couldn't respond but on shaky legs, he led me to a bench in the gym. He kept his arm around me but continued to mumble incomprehensibly as I slowly regained control over my breath and the rest of my body. It was nice being against him but I sat up, away from him and I wiped the tears from my face.

I felt the block in my thought clear I could talk again, so I did. "Midoriya, I'm fine."

"Bu-but you were just! What happened!" he stumbled over his words.

I looked up at the ceiling and let out a sigh before answering, giving me a few more seconds to get my thoughts in order. "Things like this happen to me sometimes, when I think about my father or how he treated me. It always ends, but I often feel... off for a little afterwords."

"How long after?" he sounded concerned.

"It depends on how bad it was. The one I just had was not the worst, but I'll feel it's effects for a few hours at least. I'll be fine by tomorrow," I looked over as I heard the sound of him crying. I hate it when he cries.

"I'm sorry," he whimpered through his tears, his head was down and his tears fell onto his lap.

"What for?"

"I-I made you go into the training room and spar with me."

"You didn't make me do anything," put my hand on his shoulder attempting to comfort him without actually knowing how.

"Shouto?" I heard my sister call out, looking for me.

"I'm in the gym," I yelled back. I don't really like yelling but was the only way to make sure he heard me.

"So Shouto? Who's your friend?" she asked as she walked entered. Then she saw Midoriya crying and nurturing side took over. "Shouto what happened!?" she demanded.

Midoriya answered for me. "It was my fault I took Todoroki to spar and he started acting all weird and now will feel off for the rest of the night!" he was really beating himself up over this.

She crouched down and put her hands on top of the freckled boy's, "Calm down, everything will be fine, I'll take care of my brother, I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt him," he looked up and she gave him a warm smile. His tears began to slow.

"I p-probably should go," he sputtered. Then he looked at me, then back to Fuyumi, "You'll take care of him?" he asked needing reassurance.

"I'm his big sister of course I will," she assured. Then Midoriya got up and started to leave.

He paused and looked back at me, "see you at school tomorrow Shouto!" he smiled. Something about him smiling and calling me by my individual name made me very happy.

I replied with a simple nod. 

* * *

AN

* * *

What you just read was Todoroki getting trauma triggered. I'm not exaggerating any of his symptoms from what I have experienced myself. I did not even overplay it at all.

There are people who say what I put Todorki though was not even enough to be consisted being trigged.

So next time someone disagrees with you online and you want to say that you're triggered, you might want to use a different word.

Please let me know what you think of this chapter/story! constructive criticism is always welcome! And please favorite and subscribe if you haven't already!


	18. Chapter 18: The Next Day

**Midoriya POV**

* * *

After leaving the Todoroki house I didn't know what to do I didn't know what happened I was just confused worried and anxious, I don't know what to do I didn't want to have to tell my mom why I came back so quickly! I had a feeling that Todoroki wouldn't want people knowing about whatever that was. I decided to go to the beach I cleared when I was training with All Might to try to gain some control over my racing thoughts. I stood there staring at the calm ocean, with a not calm mind. What happened to him? He said that this just happens but he was so shaken by it! It was like he lost control over his body and he leaned onto me more than just what was needed to keep him upright what does that mean!? Does he like me like I like him! Izuku! Now is not the time to be thinking about my feelings for him! I mentally scolded myself. He's suffering and all I can think about is if he likes me! He might not even what to be my friend anymore! What if he's mad at me? What if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he associates me with that and doesn't want to be around me? What if he... my mind kept going in circles with all the "What ifs" I was ruminating really badly. Eventually I was able to break free and think about what Tanaka-san says to do when I'm thinking like this: check the facts. I took a slow deep breath and thought about what I did know. Todoroki had a lot of emotions, but anger didn't seem to be one of them, and I think he was trying to comfort me so at least he's not mad at me. He said that this happens to him, so I didn't do it, but I did bring him to the thing that caused it! NO don't think like that he could have told me that he didn't want to spar, but he didn't, but why didn't he form what he told me doing that would definitely make him react that way! Why did he let it happen!?

It's a good thing that I'm seeing Tanaka-san tomorrow, maybe he could tell me what's going on.

I continued to stare out onto the water, until I was interrupted my empty stomach, I took out my phone to check the time it was seven forty, I decided to text him asking if he was ok, before heading home, I stopped at a fast food place for dinner on the way. It was after eight when I got a text saying, "I'm fine, I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Ok see you then!" I responded.

My anxiety kept me up, worried about how this will affect our friendship.

* * *

The next day, he acted like nothing happened, so I did the same, but I was still nervous Iida and Occhacho noticed. when the class rep asked about it, so I lied and said that it was nothing and lucky they didn't ask follow-up questions, I noticed Todoroki seem relieved when I lied, he didn't people to know. I couldn't wait to tell my therapist about all of this, I know he doesn't want people to know but he's my therapist I don't keep secrets from him.

* * *

**AN**

* * *

I hope you enjoyed!  
Next chapter's going to be a big one(content-wise, I don't know how long it will be yet...) Please follow/favorite if you haven't already!  
Please tell me what you thought of this chapter/story!  
Constructive criticism is welcome.

(You no idea how much joy I get from someone following/favoriting/commenting on my work.)


	19. Chapter 19: Tanaka-san

**Midoriya POV**

* * *

"Something weird happened to Todoroki yesterday," I told Tanaka-san at the start of our session I know that Todoroki doesn't seem to want other people to know but he's my therapist, I tell him everything, "we went to his house to practice for the practical portion of the midterm, then we went to a sparring room and he started acting a little off than when we started sparring he shut down..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"What do you mean when you say shut down, what did that look like?" he prompted.

"It was like he forgot how to walk and talk but the weird thing is that when I was helping him walk out of the room I think he held me which was nice but was weird that he would do something like that it felt great holding him I think about that -"

"-Izuku, you're starting to mumble again," his voice brought me out of my head and back to what I was trying to tell him.

"Sorry! it was just..." I trailed off.

"It's ok, I know that that is part of how you process things, but remember what we've talked about you ruminating," he reminded me.

"Sorry!" I blurted out, before continuing, "when he was able to talk he said that this happens to him sometimes."

"Did he say if there was something that linked the shutdowns?"

"Yea! He said it happens when things have to do with his dad."

"I thought so, based on this and what you told me about him and his past, I believe that Todoroki has some form of trauma disorder, maybe PTSD, probably cPTSD, and the sparring room triggered him."

"What does it mean, I mean I know what trauma is but what does it mean to have a trauma disorder?" I asked, I wanted to know so I could understand him better, I really care about him, but I was confused, "I heard about PTSD, and I heard that soldiers would get it from being shot out, but he didn't go to war, so how does he have it? And I never heard of cPTSD."

He let out a sigh, "I know that this disorder is generally associated with soldiers in war, but most people that have it got it from other things you can get it from any traumatic event, such as in Todoroki's case, being abused by his father, and cPTSD, is complex post-traumatic stress disorder, which is basically PTSD on steroids. As for what they are is when someone goes through a traumatic point in their life the mind goes into survival mode and comes up with all sorts of coping mechanism to stay safe and sane, the problem is that some people's minds do not get out of servile mode, which is when it becomes a disorder. When someone with those disorders goes through something that reminds them of their trauma, they can get triggered, which is a flashback of sorts to the event or events of their trauma, that causes all kinds of physical or mental distress."

I thought for a moment processing what I just heard, I probably mumbled, but Tanaka-san didn't stop me. Eventually, I spoke, "Is there any way to fix it?"

"This is not something simple, there are few things that that can be done, but can't do anything unless I talk to him, and he is willing to put in a lot of effort into an uncomfortable treatment."

"Do you want me to see if he wants to come with me to one of our sessions?" I asked hesitantly.

"If you want to," he responded.

"Wait... to have to tell him that I go to therapy and I don't know if I want him to know, but his mom is in a therapy place and he seems to fine with that. So maybe he'll be fine with me but would he even want to come here-"

"- You don't need to figure that out now, we're running out of time, so we don't have time properly talk about this session, we can have that talk next session," he interrupted my mumbling.

"Oh! Before we end I want to know how to help him if that happens again."

"Each person needs different things, the best thing to do is, when he's not in a place of high emotions, ask him what he thinks will help."

"Thanks, Tanaka-san!"

* * *

I stayed up late that night trying to find out as much about trauma disorders as I could and now, I feel really bad for Todoroki.

* * *

**AN**

* * *

I hope you enjoyed!  
The definition of cPTSD I gave is how my therapist described it to me when she diagnosed me with it. Please follow/favorite if you haven't already!  
Please tell me what you thought of this chapter/story!  
Constructive criticism is welcome.

(You no idea how much joy I get from someone following/favoriting/commenting on my work.)


	20. Chapter 20: How can I help?

**Midoriya POV**

* * *

The next my mind was still going in overdrive about all of the things that Todoroki has to deal with every day! Somedays my anxiety alone is too much for me to handle and from what I read anxiety is only part of what he goes through and I can't even ask him about that stuff because if I say anything I'd have to tell him how I know that I think that he has cPTSD, since we didn't have time to talk that over with Tanaka-san I still don't know if I want him to know how I know that he has this! I don't even think that he knows he has it!

* * *

Soon it was lunchtime and I waited for everyone to leave so I could walk with Todoroki. Of all of the things that I wanted to ask him I could only ask him one because for that question I don't need to know anything about his mental health.

"Todoroki, when you get upset like you were the other day, is there anything that I can do to help?"

He paused before talking making me anxious, did I ask something I shouldn't have? "Being held helps. That's what Fuyumi and Natsuo do," he blushed slightly and looked away, his voice was so small and cute, he wants to be held this makes me kind of want him to get a little triggered so I could hold him, just thinking like that made me feel like a terrible person, I don't want to see him like that ever again!

"O-Ok!" I stammered, my face must have been red, but he didn't say anything even though I know that he noticed, because he notices everything, but I think he may have frowned slightly but I could have been seeing things because it disappeared very quickly.

* * *

At the end of the day I thought about asking Todoroki to come over to study, but it didn't seem like it would be a good idea, he doesn't really study and I need to catch up on my studying, but I still waited with him for everyone to leave the classroom and walk to the train with him. I'm getting used to him walking slightly behind me without talking that much.

* * *

**Todoroki POV**

* * *

I didn't know how to respond when Midoriya asked me how he could help me when I get upset. I did not know how to respond because I didn't know what he could do. The only people who even know about it are Fuyuma and Natsu. Enji might have noticed something, but he always thinks I'm too weak. I thought about what they do, and what helps: I feel better quicker when they hold me. I didn't know how to tell him that. It was just awkward to tell him that that's what need. For some reason, I liked the idea of him holding me, but that's wrong boys don't cuddle with other boys. I was nervous and embarrassed when I told him. Then he started blushing for some reason, people generally blush when there embarrassed. I guessed he wouldn't feel comfortable holding me. That, for some reason, made me disproportionately upset. Even so, I know that he would do it if I needed him to, he's a really good friend, the first one I ever made.

* * *

He tried to have a few text message conversations with me. I text back, but I don't really feel comfortable holding conversations that way. There is something unnerving about not knowing how the other person really responds to your message. When I told him that he started using emojis, reaction pictures and gifs. Since he does that, and I know that he's being honest because he's Midoriya, I feel comfortable texting him.

I don't get why everyone is so worked up about the test. I know that Aiwaza-sensei told us that we wouldn't be able to go to training camp if we fail, but the material is not that hard. Everyone seems to be making a much bigger deal out of it then they needed to. Midoriya told me that everyone just wants to make sure they do their best. I never felt the intrinsic need or desire to be the best at everything. I understand if it is for something with lasting importance, like fighting, but not something as trivial as a test that you know that you'll do well on regardless.

* * *

**AN**

* * *

I hope you enjoyed!  
Please follow/favorite if you haven't already!  
Please tell me what you thought of this chapter/story!  
Constructive criticism is welcome.

(You no idea how much joy I get from someone following/favoriting/commenting on my work.)


	21. Chapter 21: Hug

AN there was a mix up with the chapter numbers, I did not repeat a chapter, this one is bran new, sorry for the mix-up, enjoy the new chapter.

~fimlover66

Midoriya POV

* * *

I woke up way before my alarm and stared at the ceiling. I knew that I was prepared for the test, but I still had that nagging feeling that I wouldn't do well. I took a deep breath and got ready for school. If I didn't show up I would fail for sure. I ate my breakfast, while watching pro hero highlights. As I was finishing one of Endeavor came on the screen and thought of Todoroki-kun and how badly he treated him. I looked at the time there was still a lot of time before I had to leave for school and I knew that Endeavor doesn't work Mondays so he'd be there with Todoroki-kun which is bad for him so I decided to surprise him and meet him at his train station, which was surprisingly empty considering the time, but it also made sense because less people lived in this area so that's less people needing to go to work.

* * *

Todoroki POV

* * *

"Midoriya what are you doing here," I asked, thoroughly confused.

"Well I was up early and I know that your dad is off this morning and that he might upset you so I wanted to a make your morning a little better so I thought I could walk you to school!" he smiled.

Even though I was happy to see him and his smile I couldn't get myself to respond in a positive manner. I don't smile that much so that shouldn't think anything of it.

Unfortunately, he knows me too well, and saw through the mask I put on. "What's wrong Todoroki? Does it have to do with your father, because I know that he's off today."

I looked down and nodded, not feeling like talking. I noticed him get flustered before asking me something. Something that no one had asked me since mom got sent away. He asked if I needed a hug. I didn't know how to respond to that. I was still shaken from my encounter with Enji. The problem is there being people at the station but no one was paying attention to us. Everyone, as usual, were too engrossed with whatever was on their phones. So I nodded and walked up to the smaller boy. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around me, as I put my arms around him. He quickly relaxed. I don't think I ever felt as good as I did hugging Midoriya, his hair smelled of apples. I felt calm. I almost lost track of my surroundings. Almost, I'm always paying attention to everything around me. That's what made me reluctantly pull away as I heard the train. His face was bright red, but he was smiling. Though for some reason I felt my cheeks warm and a small smile on my face. I hoped that I'd get more hugs from him in the future. For some reason, I wanted to hold his hand as we boarded the train. It seemed like a weird thing to do so I didn't.

"Want to quiz each other?" he asked, as we took out seats. Studying for the test is probably something I should do. If I did well it might make Enji happy and as much as I don't want him to be happy, it is often more beneficial. It would also make Midoriya happy which is something that I do want. I agreed and we spent the rest of the commute doing that.

* * *

We arrived at the classroom before most of our classmates. Iida was one of them so I followed Midoriya to him. They started talking about the test while talking I wondered what it would be like hugging him. Even though I consider him a friend it didn't have the same appeal. When Ukaraka arrived I thought about her. She looked soft, and would probably give good hugs, but I'd still much rather hug Midoriya. This was very confusing, as I considered both of them friends. I guess I just saw Midoriya as a best friend. Although I didn't have any previous experience with friendship I did know that people had favorite friends. The freckled boy was mine.

Soon Aizawa-sensei announced the start of class and the test.


End file.
